I just feel like I am in a rut. Nothing is happening. I'm in school and that seems to be keeping me from things I really want to do like go on a missions trip or have a good job. We had our members meeting on Sunday night and one of our elders got up and talked about his trip to South Africa again. They showed some pictures and I just really want to go someday. I went to Together for the Gospel conference in April and one of our pastor's introduced us to a guy who works for missionaries in South Africa and his picture was shown at the members meeting and I remembered that he was looking for interns to work there for at least 6 months. I would like to do that. I would like to go overseas for not a very long period of time, but 6 months seems to be a good length. But I feel like I can't go anywhere because I'm doing school and I have to get that done. But I also feel like I don't want to miss anything while I go over there. I told my friend Kristin that I was scared to go over because what if I was supposed to meet my hubby during my time in Africa. Kristin reminded me that I should go anyway and that if the Lord plans for me to meet him, then he will make it happen. He is sovereign. She told me that if I had that desire I should act on it, it's a gift from the Lord to have that kind of desire so I should seek it out. I'm still going to pray on this, but what should I do with school? Stop for 6 months and then get back into it when I get back? I was also thinking about going to Rhode Island to help start a church with a great family that I know, but then I felt that the Lord was telling me to just hold on a little bit more and stay here a little bit longer. Ah! But I feel like I'm in a rut. I absolutely LOVE it here and I believe the Lord is telling me to wait some more, but what for? I don't have a job that I'm tied too. I don't have a house that I'm financially responsible for. I don't have a boyfriend or hubby that I need to encourage and be a help meet to...or anything like that even remotely close to happening. Why do I need to stay? I have an itch to get out. Is this really from the Lord? Maybe he wants me to stay here for a few more months and then go out? Maybe he is preparing me for something? I don't know. I want to get out of this rut though...or at least get done with school so I can securely get out of this rut without it putting me behind...or for the Lord to show me why I need to wait a little longer here.
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Home Sweet Home! by The Pioneer Woman
5 years ago
1 comment:
Your comments about not missing out on meeting a husband reminds me of a former CHBCer who worked for Prison Fellowship. Her job involved traveling internationally for much of the time, and she was advised that it was preventing her from being able to meet someone and have a relationship, and that she should give up the job. She continued anyway and met her now husband on one of her trips.
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