Beloved

Beloved. What a great name to be called. Especially by our Saviour, the One who truly loves us and calls us His own. Oh how I do not deserve such a love from a good and gracious King. My heart is wicked and full of deceit. I turn to others to find love in. I run to other gods. I find a sense of belonging in myself and my worldly identity. "Beloved" is used to mean an intimate relationship, to long for, to prefer, esteemed, favour, worthy of love. Wait. Let's backspace for just a minute...Worth of Love? Are you sure? Me? Come on. What did I do to deserve to be worthy of Love? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. If anything, I don't deserved to be loved in such a way like this, but because of His grace, I am.
This verse has recently become a favorite of mine. 1 Thessalonians 1:4 Knowing this, Brethern, Beloved by God, He chose you.

This verse seems kind of redundant as Paul calls us "Brethren", "Beloved", "He chose you." They essentially mean the same thing. But I don't mind being reminded over and over that I am chosen to be loved by God. I don't deserve it, but am so thankful for it!

I have recently fallen in love with a new Christian band called, Tenth Avenue North, thanks to my good friend Jason (Moosh). Ya'll should really check out their website and buy their CD it's great!
Anyway, they have a song called "Beloved" on their album and I was listening to it this morning and was just so humbled by how I continually run after other gods or other lovers, but faithfully, the Lover of my soul is still pursuing me. What a good God we serve!
Here are the lyrics to the song.

Beloved

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes

There you will find what you need

Give me your life

Lust and the lies

The past you're afraid I might see

You've been running away from me

You're my beloved

Lover I'm yours

Death shall not part us

It's you I died for

For better or worse

Forever we'll be

Our Love it unites us

It binds you to me

It's a mystery

Love of my life

Look deep in my eyes

There you will find what you need

I'm the giver of life

I'll clothe you in white

My immaculate bride you will be

Oh come running home to me!

You're my beloved

Lover I'm yours

Death shall not part us

It's you I died for

For better or worse

Forever we'll be

Our Love it unites us

It binds you to me

Well you've been a mistress, my wife

Chasing lovers it won't satisfy

Won't you let me make you my bride

You will drink of my lips

And you'll taste new life

Cause you're my beloved

Lover I'm yours

Death shall not part us

It's you I died for

For better or worse

Forever we'll be

Our Love it unites us

and it binds you to me

♥

Acts 17:30

Ok, last post. It's 1 am and I'm real tired, but I wanted to write this down before I forget tomorrow morning. 

Sunday I was in the Senior men's core seminar (Sunday school). Yes, I know, I'm not a senior man. I don't care. I really enjoy that core seminar. It's more of an inductive Bible study with a smaller group. I really get a lot out of it whenever I go. 

Last Sunday, we were talking about the church of Thessalonica. Before he got into the devotional, he gave the context of the beginning of the church which is found in Acts. As he was reading, my eyes were wandering around the page (I was paying attention, I was just reading ahead) and I read over Acts 17:30. I wrote it on my hand so I wouldn't forget to go back to it later on.

Here is what it says: The times of ignorance God overlooked but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. 

Huh. I thought the beginning of the verse was kinda different. The times of ignorance God overlooked. Well, what ARE the times of ignorance, and why did God over look them?

I decided to do a little research. 

Ignorance is considered foolishness. Christians are often foolish in the worlds eyes. Or maybe perhaps this ignorance is a sin. A sin of the rejection of the Gospel. A sin of idolatry. Isarealites are a good example of ignorance as they didn't want to listen to the promises God had made with them. Ignorance is also a stupidity. They were dumb to the fact that Jesus Christ was the Messiah...or they didn't want to listen. 

God overlooked- Well, what does THIS mean? Does it mean that God just turned the other cheek when they were sinning? Of course not. That wouldn't be in agreement with his character. Does it mean that those who have not heard of the Good news he will overlook them because they are ignorant of it? No, because that's not what Romans 1 tells us that they are without excuse. Matthew Henry tells us that God did not give them an earnest call to repent. He let them alone. It seems like God is giving up on them here, doesn't it? Well, no, actually, he's not. He is actually patient with them. He was long-suffering with them which is in perfect harmony with his sovereign grace character. 

Though we have many idols and are sinner, God still has patience with us. This verse tells us of yet another example of how gracious and patient God is with us though we are ignorant lost sheep wandering around for a shephard. 

I think this compliments the verse, "He is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance." That is why there is such an earnest plea in the last part of the verse that call us to repentance.

I hope you see the loving, gentle, patience God has with us. He is free and is right to cause judgement on us all right now, but because he loves us he is holding back and overlooking with patience so that we may hear and Good news and repent and believe in it.

♥ 

When were you "Saved"?

The Lord has been gracious to me in sending me to a church that teaches solid theology. Lately, I've been discovering, with the help of the Holy Spirit of course, that I was taught wrong growing up. 

I have always been told that I needed to remember the day and the moment and the words I said when I got saved. I also needed to go down the aisle at the invitation. That showed that I was truly saved.  I was told it was crucial so that I won't doubt my salvation. Hmm. Well, that's not necessarily the case and not really biblical either. Well, God doesn't call us to walk down an aisle to be necessary for salvation. He does tell us that we need to confess with our mouth and believe in our hearts that. But that doesn't mean that we have to remember the day or the hour or the words we said. 

Coming to this church and hearing testimony after testimony when people are baptized or during a members meeting for a new member or just in conversation with peeps, they most of them do not remember a day or time or words...or even the aisle...of their salvation. They just remembered that a light came on one day and realized that they were a sinner in need of forgiveness and knew that that forgiveness would come through Jesus Christ's atoning blood on the cross in their place. I always got kind of uncomfortable when people asked me how old I was when I was saved. I know I needed to be saved at the age of 6. I also knew that Jesus was the way of salvation. But didn't understand why I need to be saved till years later. Since coming to my church, I think the Lord has been gracious to reveal to me the real reason for salvation. Which is the fact, that I am a sinner in rebellion against God. Gosh, I have struggled with doubts of my salvation all during my teen years. But people kept pointing me back to the fact that I said a prayer once. That wasn't good enough for me because I still struggled with it. Well, I think you know a Christian is truly converted when you see it in their lives. You can literally see the Joy they have. It no longer becomes a head thing, but has reached the heart and they live it out. "Faith without works is dead." 

This also makes the concept of the "P" in TULIP become more clear. (If you don't know what TULIP stands for...it's a Calvanists things...Google it.) "P" stands for Perseverance of the saints. The perseverance is their faithfulness with the Lord and how they persevere even until the end of their life. They don't back away from it. The Bible also reminds us that we will know them by their works (fruits of the spirit). We will see evidence of Grace in their lives. This grace is the kind that is not accomplished on human will or understanding, but rather on God's. 

Also, what are we saved from? I was also taught completely wrong in that too. I was taught that we are saved from our sins...well, no not really. We are saved from God's wrath BECAUSE of our sin. 

Hm. Praise God for the teaching of good theology!

♥

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God!

Tonight was a pleasant night as my really good friend Mike Cassidy came into town on business and met up for dinner tonight. I have known Mike for 6 years now as I have worked with him at camp in New Hampshire for the past six years. Mike comes to DC frequently for business trips which is a treat because we get to hang out and catch up. 

(Thanks Mike for coming again!!! I look forward to the Nutcracker next month!!)

We went to Coastal Flatts in Tyson's Corner tonight. We had an enjoyable conversation. It's always enjoyable when you talk about the Lord. We were on the topic of evangelism and we each had two different stories that ended in the same conclusion...heart broken for the lost and dieing world. 

My story goes as follows: 

I went shopping on saturday...ya know, kinda treated myself for almost being done with school for the semester. Got a pedicure/manicure and needed some new jeans as I am throwing some old ones out. If you are from the DC area, you really need to get out to Tyson's. It's a pretty stinking huge mall...well, if you like shopping you should go, if you don't like shopping then you will hate this mall. I wasn't too thrilled about going on Saturday, but I needed to get a few things so I thought sure, why not. As soon as I walked in I was overwhelmed with the smell of teenagers. (ok, they don't actually have a smell, but I was still overwhelmed). I was overwhelmed by how many there were. I mean, every where I looked there was a teen. Don't get me wrong, I love teens...that's why it's my major, Youth Ministry. The odd thing about all this, I thought, was that there were absolutely no parents around any of them. It was the breeding ground for teenagers and I was a foreign alien that had walked into their realm. I already had a headache that day so I wanted to get my nails done, get my jeans, and get out! As I was shopping around, I started thinking about these kids and the many situations they were facing. Granted, I didn't know any of them, but the lives they must lead must be pretty heavy. My heart broke for them. I'm not complaining about them, but you can definitely tell by their actions, attitudes, and dress (mostly their actions and attitudes) that they are mostly hurting. I've heard it somewhere that hurting people hide. They hide underneath attitudes which could be in the context of acting out very loudly and abrasively. Where were these kids parents? What kind of involvement do they have with them? Do these kids go to church? Do they know about church? I was riding up the escalator toward the movie theater, which is where my car was, and for some reason this is just the place for ALL of them to congregate. Do they know? Have they heard? That the Lord is the everlasting God? The Creator of the ends of the earth? (Isaiah) Is someone going to tell them? Who will tell them about the love, the deep deep love of a Heavenly Father. Who will let them know about their sinfulness and how it leads to eternal death in Hell? Where were all the Christian teenagers? What were they doing on a Saturday afternoon? Why aren't they reaching out to their friends? You can definitely tell the difference between a Christian teen and a non-Christian teen. Christian teens have a maturity in Christ. They know their worth and value in the light of Christ Jesus. Non-Christian teens are looking else where for their value. Maybe their parents? Maybe each other. But how could I tell these kids? Could I stand in the middle of the food court, get up on a table, and start preaching? They would laugh. I prayed for them. I prayed that the Lord would show them Truth. My heart broke for the many faces in their that don't know Christ. 

Mikes Story:

He was going to the grocery store after church one Sunday to get some water. He told me that he was overwhelmed by the fact that the grocery store was full...on a Sunday! The parking lot was full even. Why aren't all these people coming back from church? Or on their way to church?

His heart was heavy for them as well. 

(haha...his story was shorter...) :o )

Our conclusion: Where do we start? How do we tell them the Gospel? 

I wanted to start preaching on the corner of the streets, but then I thought of how the Jehovah's witnesses do that, and I don't want to be associated with that and have the world be confused about a relationship with Christ rather than just another religion. 

Mike came through with wisdom from the Word though. He brought us back to the example of Christ and the woman at the well. Mike mentioned that he broke cultural barriers by talking with a woman, a samaritan, and a rejected prostitute. He wasn't shoving the word down her throat, but was gentle and patient with her as she pondered on what he was telling her. She would try to bring the conversation some place as while Christ would bring it back to her sinfulness and His Father's love for her. This is the way to do it. You show them the Gospel through your actions and love for them by being patient and gentle with them and speaking to them in Truth. 

I remembered that I had written a poem a year ago about this. I thought of it as I was riding the metro to work one day.

Here it is: 

Would I dare to stand in a crowd

of hurried people passing all around?

Look at the people into their lives,

All created by God, do they even realize?

All made to worship, love, and adore him,

But do they even know the trouble they are in?

"Guilty!" He calls them, this Righteous Judge.

"Justified!" points he to those saved by his Son.

Still a command he gives to share his Good Truth,

"How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."

To the saved He says, "Watch closely, Dear ones,

For sorrow and joy will surely come."

"Lord, so many people to watch of many shapes and sizes.

In such a hurry, all those passing by us.

The stories we could hear of lives they lead. 

The good times and heartbreaks and different tragedies.

Do they know, Oh Lord? Can they see

A gracious God and His Sovereignty?

Here I am, Lord, still in this crowd.

Unsure of what to do to claim your Truth around.

Lord, do they know you?

Would they even car?

Of this love I'd be so willing to share?

How do I pass your Truth out?

Should I just shout:

"Come to Jesus! He is full of grace and hope!"

Then there I would stand in the middle of the road

Would anyone dare to look? Would they eve stop to ask

of this Sovereign Truth I hold in my grasp?

"She is mad," they would say,

"Just another Jesus Freak", and be on their way

My heart and hands lift to you, O King!

From where my help is come.

A heavy burden too much for me 

of the lost who don't know their way Home. 

"Child of mine," is his reply,

"I will put words into your lips, and I will send you out

Trust and obey the command I give. 

To pass out my Truth to all who live."

In the middle of the street, I fall to my knees.

"Lord, of all sinners, I am the worst of these!

Have mercy, O God, so I may be used

to show your love and share your good news."

"Daughter", he says to me

"I called you by your name.  Your sins are gone

and I see no more. 

Now go and tell of my forgiveness through my death for the world." 

♥ 

Don't Know How To Title This One...

Wow. Can I just tell you what an amazing week it has been? Well, it started off kinda rough, but towards the end, maybe around tuesday (ok, that's not really the end, but it was around there) that the Lord just really started teaching me a ton. Where do I start?

(Kristy, this may be a long one...and I may or may not put in potty breaks for you...)

Ok, let's start with my attitude. Always a good place to start, right mom's? I thought so. I have been having a bad attitude lately and because of this, I have felt kind of far from the Lord. Sin can do that to ya...you know, distant you from the Lord. Sunday was so refreshing being at church, as it always is. Shout out to Mark Dever for an awesome sermon on Sunday! He's still in Genesis and just to give you the short of it, was talking about how God is sovereign despite our sin. He still pursues us despite our sin. He still chooses to love me despite my horrid attitude (haha, yes, I used the word horrid). Nuts! I don't have my church notebook here to give you the full explanation of the sermon, but the keys words that I got out of it was to live in Grace. Mark didn't say that exactly, but that's what the Lord was working on in my heart during the sermon. Live in grace, Jenny! What does this mean? Well, lately, I think I have been living in the attitude of fear. Not a holy fear, a fear of reverance, but actual fear. I've been scared of my own life. I know, this sounds absolutely ridiculous. It is! It's sin! I haven't been living in the light of Grace, that fact that I have been forgiven and am redeemed. I see the sin that I commit and get upset about it and think that I must be the worst person ever. But I haven't been preaching the Gospel to myself. I have been complaining about my state whether that be my math class or any other trials. I have been complaining about it which is sin. So this week, the Lord has shown me what it means to live in Grace. And I think it's simply just...having a joy in the Lord. Being anxious for nothing...seeking first his kingdom....preaching the Gospel to myself and others...

A friend of mine came to me to ask prayer and I gave them this quote from Valley of Vision:

"Help me not only to receive him but to walk in him

depend on him

commune with him

be conformed to him

follow him

imperfect, but still pressing forward

not complaining of labour, but valuing rest

not murmuring under trials, but thankful for my state."

I was really convicted of my sinfulness when I was working out and doing sit ups. I think a lot when I work out and I was thinking about my relationship with the Lord. I have felt like something has changed drastically with it and I didn't like it and I wanted it to end. I wanted my relationship with the Lord to be back to where it was, where I was in love and excited to be in the Word. I was lying on my back and right in the gym just asked the Lord to restore my relationship with Him. He's so gracious! Then I came home and it was then that I gave my friend that quote and it really hit me. I've been complaining!!! Jenny, you are a complainer! You have not shown trust in the Lord during your trust. Complaining shows a lack of trust. The last line just really hit me. "not murmuring under trials, but thankful for my state." So I decided to thank the Lord for my state. My state of not knowing if I'll pass my math class, my state of uncertainty of future plans, my state of hating things about my body, etc... the list goes on, people. The next day, it was a drastic change! I saw joy come back into my life! I was more appreciative of the Gospel! I was excited about my "state's". I've noticed even my sense of humor come back. It's freeing, really.

This week, I am house/dogsitting for my boss. Last night, my friend Leslie slept over. On the car ride there we just got to talking about the Lord and through telling her again what the Lord has been teaching me, the Lord just kept bringing up more verses that went along with what he is teaching me. "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything by prayer and supplicationa and with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God and the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Woo!! I just totally typed that out by memorization!!)

I've been so anxious about many things lately. But what does God tell us here? Don't be anxious about it! BUT pray about it....but not just that though...he adds (this is the key ingredient) and with THANKSGIVING. Thank the Lord for the state he has you in right now. Praise his name for it! This is where you will best glorify him. Then the verse that says the Joy of the Lord is your strength was brought to mind and from the key ingredient of thanksgiving in your prayer come forth the JOY of the Lord. YAY! Joyfulness!! Who doesn't want that? From that then comes Grace...living in grace. Enjoying God. There's kinda weird math formula going on here...

Let's see if I can make one come out that will make sense:

anxiousness + complaining = sin/bad attitude

Divided by thankfulness in prayer (peace of mind x joy of the Lord x living in Grace squared)

all over a Gospel Centered Life = more love for Jesus square root of nearer to the cross

hahaha... i've been thinking of math too much. That probably didn't make any sense at all.

Then today!!! Oh my goodness...

I'm gonna keep this kinda short cause I'm wicked tired right now.

There was a girl last summer in the intern bible study who I had a really great Gospel conversation with one night at Ben and Jerry's. She was so curious to hear about the Bible and Jesus. She kept coming back to the bible study and asking really great questions. Well, I hadn't heard from her in a while because when the interns leave, you just never really get to say goodbye. So I gchated with her this morning and she was so excited to tell me that she had gotten saved this summer!!!! I knew it. I remember one night after the bible study we were talking and something inside just clicked and I could see it. But it was really neat to her back from her 5 months later that the Lord is teaching her so much! She's so excited about reading the Word and so in love with our Gracious Father. I can't tell you what a blessing it was to be a part of that. It was especially neat to see how God, he did it all. He's the one that told her to come to our church. He's the one that put it on her heart to buy a bible. He's the one who called her to himself. Wow. What an amazing privilege to be a part of that process. Truly amazing.

So all that to say, living in grace = thankfulness of your state, no matter where or what that is and then watching the Lord's work in your heart and life and in others.

Simply amazing.

♥

St. Augustine

This is me...procrastinating on writing my paper. But, I am doing research on it! That's a good start, right?

Well, anyway, my paper is over the Canon of the Scripture and what key events happened to make the whole of the Canon. I was reading over an article I found on Liberty's online Library (yes, I know a Library online...who woulda thunk?) The article is "The Canon of Holy Scripture: An Anglican Note".  While I was reading, I came across a quote from St. Augustine. You might've heard one of his other quotes that I loved, until I realized...well, actually, he is wrong in it. That quote went, "preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary use words." Meaning that an unbeliever should be able to look in your life at your actions and see the Gospel. Well, that's true, but using words is also very necessary to explain the Gospel. 

(I am putting in a small break...KRISTY...this is your time to use the bathroom, get a coffee, or just let your brain relax for a second and let the ADHD wear off for a min....)

;o ) 

.... 

Ok, and we're back. So the quote that good 'ol St. Augustine had in this article was, "I would not believe the Gospel to be true unless the authority of the Catholic Church moved me to it." Well, Aug. I think you may be a little off here. I think you would believe the Gospel to be true, because the Holy Spirit has drawn you to believe it is. Redemption was placed in your heart by the Holy Spirit who is calling you to Jesus Christ. It seems to me that Aug. here is putting the Catholic Church as his authority. There is a Charles Spurgeon quote that I'm thinking of that kind of contrasts what St. Aug. is saying... (let me google it so I won't mess it up...be right back.  [Kristy, here's another break]) 

This quote is concerning election, but Spurgeon says, "I believe in the doctrine of election, because I am quite sure that if God had not chosen me I would have never have chosen him; and I am sure he chose me before I was born, or else he would have never have chosen me afterward." 

I guess the contrast I see here is that St. Augustine was letting the Catholic Church tell him that Scripture is true. But Charles Spurgeon was saying the he is letting the Holy Spirit is the one that has drawn him to Christ. 

Not sure if that made sense...

ok, back to my paper. 

♥ 

Happy Retirement Dad!!!

October 31, 2008. This was my Dad's last day of working at GM for 35 + years. I gotta say, I'm proud of him! Can I just let this blog be about how amazing my dad is? Seriously, I have the world's best day. Yeah, all those mugs that say "World's Best Dad" goes to him. But I don't mean it in a cheesy way. I really mean, he has got to be the best dad ever! He is constantly telling me that he prays for me every day. He is always asking me what I'm reading in God's Word. He reminds me that "no matter what, Jen, stay close to the Lord." (his words) He is loving to me even when I push him away. He has faithfully provided for our family for our whole lives. He is humble and so willing to go 2o extra steps to make sure we are happy. If ever there was an earthly picture of my Heavenly Father, James F. Barnhart is it. He not only cares for me, but he also cares for my friends and is always asking me how they are doing. He is eager to talk about the Lord and his grace with me. He is eager to help me on my Math when I am having a mental breakdown and can't do it any more. Yay Dad for finishing 35+ years of GM, but not only finishing GM, but for selflessly providing for your family! Thank you for giving me a clear picture of my Heavenly Father. You have been a great Dad! I am so blessed to have you as my Dad. Love you!

♥ 

(Kristy, that wasn't a long one) ;O ]