I Love You, Even Though You Are Messed Up

What I am about to share with you happened about a month ago, but I thought it would be helpful and encouraging for those who might be struggling with the same thing.

I was on my way home from my soccer game, and I drove my friends Emily and Aarin (who are married) home too. We were having just a  normal conversation and the question, "Are you dating anyone?" was directed towards me. I said no, I am not. And then I stated the reasons why I thought I was not dating anyone. I told them that I don't want any poor guy to be involved in this mess of a life. "I'm too messed up to be dating anyone right now." I told them. "I wouldn't want some amazing guy to be sucked in to my life." (ps. not that I have a bad life by any means. I am very blessed, but can often be really hard on myself as you are about to see.) But Aarin said something that made me really think about what I had just said. It was very profound and helpful. Are you ready for it? Here it is. He said that Christ didn't wait to pursue me when I became perfect. He pursued me even though I am a sinner. He loves me even though I am messed up. And because I have repented of my sins and put my faith and trust in Him, he counts me as beautiful and perfect and innocent. Wow. That made me shut up and think. Here I am thinking that I have to have all my ducks in a row to be a great wife someday, and I have to have it all together, but really that's not the case. I am a sinner, and I'm going to keep on sinning even when I'm married. And the guy that the Lord has for me is a sinner too, and I will have to forgive him. I don't have to have my ducks in a row. I just need to be obeying the Lord in what he has called me to do. Huh. Profound, eh? (Sometimes, I talk Canadian ... I have a right! I'm part Canadian!) 

It's so easy to look at my friends who are dating or married and think, "Gosh, she has it all together. She's wonderful and godly and has everything organized and she's serving others as well as her hubby. That must be why she's married or dating and  I'm not." I'm too .... then I fill in the blank. I'm too ... well, (alright, time to break out the vulnerability) here are the lies I let myself listen to. 

"I'm too ... selfish."

"I'm not ... pretty enough." 

"I'm don't ... have it all together."

"I'm too ... immature."

"I'm too ... loud." (seriously, I think I'm too loud. HA!) 

"I'm too ... sinful."

"I'm too ... emotional."

"I'm too ... "

Well, you get the idea. But all of these "I'm too..." can become such a legalistic thing too! (This is the part where I compare the earthly thinking to the eternal thinking. Get ready for it...and GO!) 

We can often bring those things to Christ and think "God, I'm too sinful for Christ to be my substitute." "God, I'm so messed up, I need to be more godly by doing more bible reading and praying or serving others." (ps. all those things are good things, but we should be doing them for the right reasons, not to gain merit with the Lord.) Don't you see how legalistic that is! As John Piper said in his sermon as New Attitude last year, "It nullifies the cross of Christ." Romans 11:6 says, "But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace would not be grace." It is also a pride issue. As we say that we are too sinful for Christ's substitute to be a satisfaction for God's wrath, we put our pride up there. We cannot gain merit with God. He already loves us! He already paid for our sins with the most priceless gift ever....his son's own SINLESS blood! But the fact of the matter is that we ARE sinful...BUT (this is the BEST word in the Bible) But Christ has paid it all. He has become our substitute for our punishment. 

Here in Romans 5:8 it says,  "But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were YET SINNERS, Christ died for us." This is when God says, " I love you, even though you are messed up." 

Don't you see, Christ pursued us at just the right time! "For while we were STILL helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly." 

So even though I have all these reasons/lies why Christ's death was not good enough to pay for my sins or why I am not dating or married, the truth of the matter is that He loves me even though I'm messed up! And even though some guy is not pursuing me, Christ STILL is! That's all I need to know. My identity is not wrapped up in an earthly relationship that will end up breaking my heart; rather it's wrapped up in what God has promised me through his son Jesus Christ. (yeah, I just got REAL honest there...vulnerability...it's a scarey thing) 

Romans 8:35, 38-39

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus.

♥