NEW BLOG!!!!

Hey peeps,
I have a new blog.
Please go to this address and mark it in your favorites!

http://jennyanneb.wordpress.com/

see you all there!

Brotha/Sista loooove

My brother texted me yesterday and I just thought it was a funny conversation between us. Yes, I do have a weird sense of humor and we crack on each other a lot (no harm at all...we just like to see who will be more witty and creative in our comebacks)

So here was his text:
David: "Hey, remember when you were little and you used to cry during thunderstorms...HA!!! Weirdo...its storming over here and that made me think of that."
Me: "Yeah...hey, remember when you were a tool? Oh wait...you still are. BOOM!"
David: "I may be a tool...but I'm sharper than you!!"

dang.
David, 1. Me, 0.

Quotes

"What's a royal ball anyway... I suppose it would be frightfully dull and boring...and completely...completely wonderful." - Cinderella

"...and Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart". - the Gospel of Luke

"Mwaarwaige, Mwaarwaige is wat bwrings us towgeder today." - Princess Bride

Hi Jen!

Text from dad today:

"Hi Jen, how you doing? Any hopeful prospects for a job? love you, Dad."

Me: "No prospects, but trusting God."

Dad: "that is good, Jen. The Lord will supply all your needs. Stay close to the Lord and he will supply. My concern is GM and my pention. The Lord is good. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Love you, Dad."


(thank you God, for godly parents)

&hearst;

Jimmy.

You will never meet such a man like him. I knew him from my old church at First Baptist Church of Oxford in Michigan. Sadly, but joyfully, he went home to be with his ever loving Savior!! Jimmy had down syndrom yet he was the most joyful person. Every Sunday, he would say "Hello Jennifer!" (very few people call me Jennifer) and give me a hug! He died at age 62 which is an incredible full life for a person with Downs. I know that First Baptist will have a huge whole in their hearts without Jimmy with them on earth, but I know they are looking forward to the day they will see him again. Praise God that he is no longer suffering in heaven! He has a new life and a new body! He is well and praising Jesus.

Here's the link for his funeral and a little bit about Jimmy Steiner. http://fbco.spaces.live.com/

Praise God for how he loves and takes his beloved home to be with him.

♥

in the silence

Sunday's sermon was so good. It was something that I needed to hear. I needed to be reminded of the awesomeness of God. Mark has been doing a series in Revelation lately and Sunday's sermon was on Revelation 8:1-5. The points were about how before the Trumpets there was a half an hour of slience. Which was kind of strange because in the chapters before we see that there is lots of noise around with the elders and the saints praising God continually.

Well anyway, if you know me at all, you will know that I don't like to be still. I'm not a sit still kind of person. Even as a child, I couldn't ever sit still in school or in church (which is probably why most teachers and sunday school teachers didn't like me). But God, through his kindness, often reminds me in the midst of my struggling to find an answer or struggling to understand what is going on around me, he reminds me to be still and rest on his sovereignty. Rest? Sit still? Do nothing? Really? Come on. There's got to be something I can do to make things happen, right? Yes, Jenny, there is. Trust God.

So one of the points in Mark's sermon was how God provokes silence and prayer (which was point 2). He pointed out that silence is there for a reflection. At the end of the sermons on Sunday, after we sing the last hymn, we don't have an invitation for people to come down to the front. Which, I'll admit was weird at first, because that's all I knew. But instead, we all sit back down in our seats and take a moment to reflect on what the Lord taught us during the sermon. My media fast has been great! Though I did take a break for the weekend whilst my sister was here so we could watch a movie, so far, I've actually really enjoyed the fast. I've noticed a change in my attitude. The times it gets most difficult is after my run during dinner when I just want to watch TV while I eat, but I've been reading during that time. I realize that I like noise. I always have my music on in my room. I am always wearing my ipod on my walk to work. I've always got the radio on in the car. I don't like silence. But I've decided to take advantage of it. The sermon helped me see that silence is necessary. Sometimes, we need to stop hearing all the clutter so we can hear the voice of God. To go along with silence Mark pointed out that God provokes us to pray. In both silence and prayer we develope a sense of Awe towards God. I often take for granted how awesome God really is so having times of silence and prayer is important to do this so we remember his glory and majesty.

Prayer is also known as a sweet fragrance to God. Verse 3 says, "Another angel who had a golden censer came and stood at the alter. He was given much incense to offer with the prayers of saints on the golden alter before the throne." Another verse, I think in 1 Corinthians, talks about how the prayers of saints are a sweet fragrance to God. Mark pointed this out that God likes to hear our prayers. He delights in them. This strikes me. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised by it, because he is so kind and gracious, but when it comes down to it, I'm not that fun to talk to. And God is holy and wonderful so why would a wonderful, loving God want to talk to someone like me? Why would we delight in what I have to say? I say so many wrong things all the time. So after I got done grocery shopping last night, I took the opportunity to have some silence and just talk to God. I don't understand how my prayers could be a sweet fragrance, but am so thankful that he doesn't throw my words away.

Then in the evening, David talked about Hannah's prayer in 1 Samuel and how she was trusting in God. She had a joy in his sovereignty because she knew how to be still and know he is God.

So in all, it was a great Sunday with messages from the Lord that I needed to hear and apply to my life.

♥

Failure.

ARG!!! Why do I fail so much? I just can't seem to do well at work. I am always missing something or messing up on something. What is my deal? I do go over my work about 10 times, but there's still something that I'm missing. Yesterday, I failed at a project and now today I did too. ArG!!! Will I ever get anything right?

I hope the rest of the day goes better. I just feel like a complete and utter failure right now.

I have to remind myself of the Gospel at this time, though. I am thankful that I am a failure, but God, through his kindness is still pursuing me and giving me more and more grace each day. I'm thankful that he hasn't given up on me even though I have felt like giving up so many times. I don't have to be perfect for God to love me. I was a complete wretch when he saw me in my sinful state, but still reached out his faithful and loving arm in salvation for me.

Praise God for failures and praise God for his mercies!


♥

Little Lessons...

This will be updated as appropriate:

1. Computer's don't have everlasting memory to hold all my stuff. 

2. Pay attention to detail.

3. Always bring your camera. 

30 Day Media Fast

I don't know if I mentioned this, but I am on a 30 day media fast from Facebook. It's been pretty good. Though I have had temptations to sneak a peak, especially during work hours.
But I have realized that in place of that, I am watching TV. Hmm...predicament. So in light of this, I have decided to give up TV and movies for 30 days and focus on my relationship with the Lord. In place of watching TV, I'll have more time to spend in the Word, read more books, do better at studying (4 more weeks of my class) spend more time with people. As I was falling asleep last night, I got really excited about it! I'm stoked to see how God is going to work on my heart and mold it to become more like His. I want to hear his voice. I want to know his leading. I want to know Christ more! I want less of the world, less of me, and more of Him. I want more reliance on Him.

Though it's going to be difficult because I do live with 5 other girls who also watch TV (not as much as I do though) so it'll be different to see how I am going to go about hanging out with them, but not being able to watch TV in the living room with them.

Today is day 1. YES!!! I'll keep you posted on how I am doing and what the Lord is teaching me.

♥

Canopy of Pink

Well, DC tourist season has started. Around this time of year, April, is when the masses of people come out from the woodworks.This crazy season began last weekend with the National Kite Flying day on the Mall. The cherry blossoms are in bloom and visitors from all over have come to see them as well as smell them. :) I love walking to work and seeing them and even running around the Tidal Basin to see them (though the tourists get in my way a lot). But I am just tickled to death that winter is over and spring is here!!! I love that God makes all things new. I love that he gives new life...to a regenerate sinner like myself as well as to plants and animals he has created. He is a good and gracious God to allow us to enjoy his creation and thus turn it around to enjoy Him for it all. I think Spring is my favorite season. It symbolizes a newness.

Well, yesterday was the 10 mile Cherry Blossom race. I did it last year and thoroughly enjoyed myself. This year I didn't train as much because I was a late registrant, and the weather has just been too cold to run outside. (yes, I am a wuss) I was nervous all last week, dreading the thought of running 10 miles on a Sunday MORNING! Ugh. But, I woke up at 6:30 and headed down on the Mall by 7. And let me tell you, it was GORGEOUS!!! It was 52 degrees by the time we started running and the skies were clear and the sun was shinning. I did the race alone, but I didn't mind. I had my ipod on to keep me focused and running hard. As we got in to our respected categories (I was in the blue bib category), the announcer came on to give us information about the race. He mentioned the weather and how beautiful it was. We were running around Hayne's Point which is on the Potomac River and he said that we would be running underneath a canopy of pink with the cherry blossoms in bloom.

The race started at 7:40 and we were off. My first song that came on my ipod was Hanson's "MmmBop". (I know. I know. I know.) but really, it's a good poppy song to run to. I like running to poppy songs. It was a good song to start the race off and get my pace right. As we started on our first mile, I was pretty good and thinking that I could do this and just really pumping myself up for the rest of the 9 miles ahead of me. Running with over 1200 strangers is so exciting! It was a rush as we were all setting our own pace and in this thing together. Each of us have our own styles of running and finishing and it was so cool to be in that crowd as we passed by the bystanders who were cheering us on.

Arlington Cemetery came and went and we were on our way down to the Kennedy Center. It was around the Kennedy Center and over Independence Drive that we hit mile 5 and the song "Life is a Highway" by Rascal Flatts came on. Perfect song for the middle of the race! Finally, the middle of the race!!! Phew...almost there...come on 5 more miles. I loved the mix I had set up for my run. I titled it "Cherry Blossom 09". I know, so original, right? I had songs on there like Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Rascal Flatts, Kelly Clarkson, Mariah Carrey...and so on. Again, I like poppy music.

Mile 6 and 7 were the hardest for me. I didn't know what mile I was on, but figured it had to be either 6 or 7 and it was driving me nuts. We came around to Hayen's Point at mile 7 and for the rest of the way back we were under the Canopy of Pink. It was breath taking (well, I couldn't really catch my breath at this point, but if I had, it would've been gone) the view was amazing. It was on the river and the Cherry Blossoms were so perky as if they were cheering us on to finish well. Mile 9 had finally come and I could see the Washington Monument up ahead!! Almost there, I thought! I can't stop now! I'm almost there! The spektators started crowding during the last half of the last mile and it was so great to have them there. Though I didn't have anyone specifically cheering me on, it was still nice to have people encouraging you to finish strong and well. The last half of the mile was up hill to as we were passing by the Holocaust Museum.

I saw the finish line finally and told my legs to run a little bit faster to sprint it in. They hated me at this point as I couldn't really feel them, but I didn't care. I wanted to finish strong. Finally, I passed over the finish line in an hour and 40 minutes. That's a 10 minute mile. Last year I ran it in an hour and 25 minutes which is an 8 minute mile. I was a little disappointed in my time, but just glad that I could run it.

The race is always fun and so thrilling to do it with a million people. But the best part about running is the satisfaction of finishing it and knowing you did your best and you finished strong and well. And...at the end, they give you muffins and banana's! :) I mean, I just ran 10 miles. I am certainly not going to feel guilty about eating carbs after running 10 miles. :) Yay for muffins!! I hurt. I was sore. My legs were stiff and hated me. I felt like they were permanently detached from my body. But it felt so good! That's the best kind of hurt and soreness. Knowing that you worked hard for something and seeing the bruises from it.

running. it's my addiction.

♥

Does God Love You?

Hmm...good question, right?
This was the title of a pamphlet I picked up today during my walk to the Post Office and bank.
I passed by this guy on my way to the bank in Chinatown today. He was standing right outside just as you get off the metro escalators. He didn't look to thrilled about what he was doing and had absolutely no enthusiasm. I kinda wondered if he even believed the things in his pamphlet that he was handing out. He wasn't a Jehovah Witness because he wasn't in a black suit, white shirt, and black tie. And from what I could see, he didn't have a name tag on. As I passed by him the first time, I thought that here was another Crazy standing on the street protesting about something irrational. (Earlier, I was passing a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, but from what I could tell, she wasn't yelling at any specific person. I kept looking back behind me to see who she was yelling at and every time I looked back she would be facing in another direction. It was quite annoying, especially as she was hurling out the "F" bomb every other word.) I tried to ignore this dude who was handing out the pamphlet, but as I passed by him, the word "God" caught my eye. I wondered what he could be trying to tell us.

After I finished at the bank, I decided to walk by him and take one of the pamphlets. It was interesting to see who would take one as I slowly walked up. Some looked at it and then ignored it and others took it. Who knows if they will actually read it or not. I finally got my own and started to read while walking down the street (I know. I can multitask. Read and walk at the same time without running into people. It's a talent so few of us have.)

First, I turned it over to see who it was by and if it actually was a mormon church...just so I could brace myself. Then I began with the title, "Does God Love You?" and made my way through it all hoping to maybe find a glimmer of right theology. The writer made his way through the fact that we are all sinners in need of a Savior and that our good works won't do us any good. The pamphlet was laid in in a question and answer form. Like, Q: "How do you know God loves you?" A: John 3:16...
I got down to question 3 which says, "If I am a wicked person in God's sight, what will God do to me?" The following answer is something I did not expect:
A: The Bible teaches that at the end of the world all the wicked will come under God's final punishment in a place called Hell on this earth and this time is very near. There is much Biblical evidence that the rapture of the believers will occur on May 21, 2011 and this world will cease to exist on October 21, 2011.
The rest of it goes on to tell the reader to contact the Family Radio...the people who have published this pamphelt.

Really? May 21, 2011? Dang. That was going to be my wedding date too. I burst out laughing when I read this and I had my ipod on which probably made my laugh even louder. He said that "there is much Biblical evidence to support this". Well, he definitely didn't put any of the evidence in the pamphlet. Doesn't God tell us that noone knows the time or day of the return of Christ except the Father? Hmm...

The pamphlet continues in question and answer dialogue about the destruction of the world and how we can escape such a destruction by believing on Jesus for salvation.

The next question deals with how a person gets saved. "Q: Now I am desperate. I do not want to be destroyed. What can I do to become saved? A: ...Thus, if a person truly desires to become saved, he should spend much time carefully reading or listening to the Bible."
The writer didn't mention anything about recognizing our sin and that it seperates us from God and repenting and turning from them and turning to faith in the work of Christ on our behalf on the Cross. He completely missed all of that. According to this writer, simply reading the Bible will get you saved.

The last question is where I wanted to turn around to go talk to this guy. Here it is: "Q: Should I attend a church?" A: Definitely NOT!! (seriously, the not is all caps) The Bible tells us that for almost 2000 years after Jesus died on the cross, those who believe in Jesus, if possible, were to be members of a church. But now we learn from the Bible that God is no longer saving people through the ministry of the churches. The church age has come to an end. Fact is God commands in His Law book, the Bible, that the true believers are to leave their church. This is because God's righteous Judgment is upon all local congregations as God is preparing the world for Judgment Day. 'When ye therefore shall see the abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, stand in the holy place, whoso readeth, let him understand, Then let them which be in Judea [the local church]* flee into the mountains: [to Christ]- Matthew 24:15, 16'"

Wow. I mean, wow. What Bible is this guy talking about? This is the complete opposite of what God calls us to do. He completely took this passage waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of context.
I felt sorry for those people who wrote this and for that guy who was handing it out. I prayed for them and I prayed for those who read this. Being in the church is how we are spiritually fed, besides of course, your own personal time in the Word.

Please have a note to self: Don't follow this dude! He's a nut!

♥

Media Fast

Sunday night, one of our Pastor's, spoke. As of this moment, I can't remember the points, but it was good! :) 

He talked about getting our focus on God. (well, that was the gist of it anyway. I don't have my notebook next to me otherwise I'd lay it all out for ya)

Well, one thing he mentioned was that his family did a 30 day fast from the media. I thought it was a good idea so I decided to try it out on facebook which I am currently doing. It's going fine, the only time I really want to look at facebook is during work because I have nothing else to do. 

So I've noticed that when I'm not on facebook, I'm filling that time with watching TV. Hmm...this poses as a predicament because it kinda defeats the purpose, don't ya think? 

So, I've decided to go on a 30 day media fast. No watching TV and no watching movies. I'm starting this on Sunday, and I'm actually looking forward to it! I really can't wait to start getting into God's Word more. I was thinking about it on my ride home tonight and got really excited that it's going to be me and God again. No distractions. Nothing else clogging my mind. Just me and Jesus and practicing my reliance on him. 

I'll be posting what I am learning through this time, and if you think about it, pray for me that my mind will become more eternal and Christ focused than earthly focused. Pray that my relationship with God will grow into something I never thought it would. Pray that I see the Spirit clearly working in my heart. 

Well, it's mid-night thirty. I should get to bed. 

Night!!

♥ 

How Firm A Foundation

Tonight was a sweet time of babysitting. I absolutely LOVE kids! I was privileged enough to babysit for a family in my church tonight. These are probably the easiest and sweetest kids to watch. They easily obey and they just love to have a good time. Well, after we goofed around with tickling for a little bit, it was time for bed. They put their Pj's on, brushed their teeth, and then we read a story. After their story, their mom usually sings a song or two with them, so we did that. I asked the boy (who is 4) what he wanted to sing, and I was expecting something like "Jesus Loves Me". Oh no, he picked, "How Firm A Foundation". This caught me by surprise. He knew the words better than I did. 

It was so great to see how they are being brought up in Christ. At age 4, I think I was learning Jesus Loves Me in sign language, definitely not a hymn like How Firm A Foundation. hahaha... :oD 

Praise God for godly parents!

♥ 

My Heart

Man, I love Sunday's. Especially in DC! They are just always beautiful, and even if the weather isn't all that great, it's ok because it's great just to get to go to my church, hear the Word of God, and fellowship with other believers. I wish everyday was Sunday. 

This morning, I had decided to go to the parenting class (it's our "sunday school"). I know what you're thinking. 

"Really, Jenny? Parenting? Do you need to tell us something?" 

No, no. It's nothing like that at all. Our church actually encourages the singles to attend the parenting class, and I'm really glad I did. It was really encouraging and just a great way to learn about how to parent kids someday. Today's class was all about the heart and dealing with the issues of the heart in your children. Well, even though, I'm not a parent...

::Sidenote. So I was sitting there also kinda wondering why I was in that class too. I was in one of the front rows and looking around me and there were maybe 2 other single people in there and a few that were dating and the rest were married. I felt like everyone was wondering why I was in that class. I'm not even near dating anyone and children are far, far, far off in the future. So all that to say, I honestly felt kinda silly being in there.::: (sidenote, ended)

So after I brushed those thoughts away, I was really glad I ended up in that class. I think the Lord is teaching me a lot about my heart right now. It's in a sad state. I mean, not that I'm struggling with depression, but just that it's really sinful. As the verse goes, "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." It's true, ya know. We talked about our speech in youth group on Friday night. I know I'm not a youth, but the message still applies to me. We talked about how sometimes we say things and then immediately wish we could rewind what just happened. I do that all. the. time. My words are often selfish and then that's a good indicator of where my heart is. On myself. 

What do I need to do to fix this? I need to be in the Word more. I need to hide God's Word in my heart, and from that my mouth will speak what the Spirit is growing inside of me. 

The verse that was spoken over this morning in Core Seminar was Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." If I guard my heart from sinfulness, then what will flow from it is a heart that is centered around Christ. I need to guard my heart against the devil and his lies that he throws at me or his temptations that he puts in front of my eyes or the sinfulness that creeps into my life. So...what's the guard then? The guard is God's Word. The Truth. The Bread of Life. This is what will guard my heart. 

♥ 

Speech

Today. Friday, March 20, 2009.

The sun was out, finally!!! Goodness, it had been cloudy it seems like for a month! I went home to Michigan a few weeks ago and when I arrived, it was cloudy there...the entire time I was there. And then I get back and it's cloudy here. Is there a black cloud that keeps following me around?

Tomorrow is supposed to be nice! YAY!! I plan on running around 8 miles. I am running in the Cherry Blossom 10-miler April 5th and I'm no where near where I should be for my training. I can barely run 6 miles in an hour. Not good. 

Speaking of home, I have been missing it lately. I guess I kinda wish my parents lived closer to here. I get lonely sometimes and just really need to be around a family. I'm grateful for the Cole's who are my second family. I lived with them when I first moved out here. I have a room whenever I want to spend the night there. I'm grateful for that. But I still miss my parents and the familiarity of my home. Sometimes, it's hard being so far away, but I know it's necessary. I know I can't go home, especially with the economy the way it is. There are absolutely no jobs in Michigan, and I definitely do not want to go back to being a server at Chili's. 

Today was a pretty good day. I worked and on my lunch break, I went to take back a zoom lens I had gotten for my camera. I really want to have a photography business someday so I'm trying to get the right equipment to make this happen. Next on my list is a photo editing program. But praise God! I found a lens that I need on e-bay for half of what it would be in the store!! I was really excited about that. 

OH!!! And, I got an email that said my cap and gown for graduation will be in by MONDAY!!!!!!

I can't believe that it's almost over. Now, I'm just trying to trust the Lord with what will happen next. 

I didn't run today. I have been running everyday this week so I decided to give myself a day off and not run. Instead, I indulged in a yummy Black and White milkshake from this new place on the Hill called, Good Stuff Eatery. Mm...heavenly. The owner of the place was on Top Chef... or something like that. 

Tonight, we had youth group. Daniel spoke on our words and our speech. It was a good lesson I needed to hear. I have such a hard time controlling my tongue as I often use it in sarcasm. Though I'm not meaning to hurt anyone by what I say, it can often come across that way. Also, I was convicted on how I use my speech. I am using my speech to build myself up? Or am I using it to build others up and Christ? This week was a sanctification week as I have seen more sin in my life. I've often walked to and from work thinking about my words and actions and just realizing how much I really do need a Savior. 

Well, after the talk, we split into our small groups, which was pretty much the guys and girls split. (Our youth group is really small) The girls were talking about how we can fight the temptation to use our speech in bad ways. Someone had mentioned the act of love and speaking in patience. I remembered this passage that I had been studying for my Inductive Bible Study class. The passage was Mark 11 where it talks about Jesus cursing the fig tree and then taking over the temple when they were using it to sell things. In this passage, we see that Christ has a right to be angry and frustrated. His Father's house was being used as a "den of robbers", as he puts it, when it is supposed to be used for prayer. He could have easily let his anger take over by using angry words, but what struck me the most was the fact that he didn't yell at them. In verse 17 it says, "And as he taught them, he said, "Is it not written, 'My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations'? But you have made it a den of robbers." What struck me was the fact that he TAUGHT them. And as we know the character of Christ and his teaching throughout the Gospels, we know that when he taught, he welcomed all, and was patient with all. He taught with love and kindness. He didn't yell at them, but simply taught them. One more thing to add is that he taught them from the Word as we see where he says, "Is it not written...". This indicates that he is teaching them from the Word. 

So I thought that (obviously) Christ was a good example for us to follow in using our speech with love and patience. 

♥ 

New Blog. New Address

So, I am working on getting a different blog/website.
Blogspot seems to not want to work with me. I can't seem to get my pictures uploaded. Maybe I'm doing something wrong, I don't know. I want to get a website to build my portfolio for my pictures.
But stay tuned for the new address and new blog.

♥

Love this song

So I know I probably posted the words to this song already, but we sang it again on Sunday and I just love it.
My favorite verse is this one:

"Why was I made to hear Thy voice,

and enter while there's room,

When thousands make a wretched choice,

And rather starve than come."

-- How Sweet and Awful Is the Place.

♥

Come on...Don't Give Up!

From the words of Peter, through the mouth of my Poppi...

2 Peter 1:3-11

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has give us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness, and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have htem, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Sorry I have not been keeping up to date with this. The last half (4 weeks) of my classes have been crazy busy. So busy that I have had to skip church on Sunday night and Wednesday night so I can get things done. But, praise God, I finished my LAST test for my college career last Sunday!!! Phew! I finished Acts and Philosophy, and I even got an A in Acts (after failing it once and withdrawling from it the other time, I'm ashamed to say). But I passed!!!! Now, I just have one more class, Inductive Bible Study, which I am stoked about taking. It's just teaching me how to study the Bible more deeply. I'm excited about it. It'll be like doing a Bible study for a grade! I am now officially counting down till graduation...59 days! Yikes, ok this sounds better...less and 2 months!!! 

Well, now that I updated you on my school, here's the real reason for the blog. 

I went home to Michigan this past weekend. It's kinda my "spring break". I don't have classes this week, but I still have to work. Boo. So I decided take a long weekend and go home. I'm real glad I did too. It was a great, relaxing weekend away from the city. Even though it rained the ENTIRE time I was there (except Monday), it was still a really great time to be with my parents and be in a familiar place again. To be honest, I get kinda homesick sometimes. 

I got there on Saturday around noon and my mom picked me up from the Detroit (yes, I am from an hour north of there). After that, we went to see my Granny (mom's mom) at the nursing home...which will probably be another blog soon to be written. Saturday, we just ran some errands and chilled at the house with some AMAZING chinese food. I mean, really, you haven't had chinese food until you've had Carrie Lee's. Goodness, it's the best! 

On Sunday, I went to my parents church at Lake Orion Baptist Church. It was nice to see old friends and people I grew up with. This wasn't the church that I grew up in however. My parents started going there, I think, when I left for Pensacola. Well, it's always nice to go there and see familiar faces again. Though, I totally embarrassed myself by snorting after my mom made me laugh during their Sunday School...thanks Mom! 

This is where I get to the point of my blog...

Sunday night, I decided that I wanted to go to my old church, the one that I was born into. Seriously, I was. My grandparents went there and were well-known throughout the church. My Poppi taught Bible and English at the school that we used to have there, Oxford Christian Academy. I remember, whenever I would see my old Pastor after the services on Sunday, he would remind me that he was there when I was born in the hospital. I grew up there. It was my home. I grew up in the school from Kindergarten till high school graduation. I was in youth group, I served, I cried...a lot (Meg can tell you. She watched me in the nursery). I "got married" there. I walked the aisle after the service. I was baptized there, twice. (that's another story for another time) I played the piano...and then ran out crying because I messed up. I was in plays on that stage. I sang for the Christmas specials. I remember after school my best friend, Bethany, and I would hang out in the auditorium and we would practice our "preaching" at the pulpit taking turns and then evaluate each other in how we did. I'm not sure what on earth we would talk about though. There are countless memories that I have there.

I don't know if this happens to you, but if you've been in a place for so long, you know it's smell and the sounds and the sites. It all came rushing back to me when I got out of the car Sunday night. The smell, the sounds, everything came back to me. Anything I looked at reminded me of something. We got in and talked with some friends and then we sat down. My mom had this thing of sitting in the back few rows every church service--that was my family's row. So guess where we sat, the same place...only I think it was a few more rows back than normal. My mom will tell you the reason why too. It has something to do with me crying during a church service and having to take me out. So ever since then, we sat in the way back of the church. Yep, just call us Back Row Baptists. (for the record, I don't sit in the back any more. I can't pay attention if I do.) My parents still sit in the back row though. I really don't know why, they don't have any kids they will have to take out. 

So we sat down and the church service started and the same person who was leading music when I was there, was leading music that night, Mr. Steiner who would give me candy out of his coat pocket on Sunday mornings.  The same ladies played the piano and organ. They were all there. Just like I remembered. It was sweet. It was the same pews, the way the felt when you sat down. The same stain-glass windows I used to wish were normal windows so I could look out at the soccer field during the service. I kept looking at everything and recalling different memories of it all. But what really struck me were the people that were there. Who I am so thankful for.   As I was sitting there, I was thinking about the people that were still there, being so faithful to the church and to the preaching of the Word of God. I couldn't help but think of the Perseverance of the Saints. I was glad to see they were there. That's why the verse at the top is so fitting. Every person sitting in that church service that night has the mark of a true disciple of Christ. They were adding to their faith and were diligent and faithful in doing so. They aren't "dating" other churches. They remained steadfast and sure of where God has placed them. They have given their time and money and effort into that church, and I'm sure God will reward them in Heaven. These are the people who have set an example of running the race and finishing it strong. They aren't just staying faithful to a church building, though. They are staying faithful because of the preaching of the Word that is done there every Sunday. (Thanks, Pastor Jim, for doing this!)  This is the thing that will last. The building will fall for it's made from human hands, but the the Word of the Lord will stand forever. The world can't understand such faithfulness. The world wouldn't understand why any of us would want to give our time for the service of the church, but as Christians, we know. We understand. They are there, as the rest of us are in our own churches, to build the kingdom of God. We are there to be fed the Word of God, faithfully. We are there to be prepared to meet the Bridegroom when he comes. 

It's encouraging to see faithfulness of the saints. I see it in my own church as well with older members who have been here waaaaaay before my senior Pastor has started. They have seen the highs and the deep lows of the church and have also seen the Lord show his faithfulness by continually adding to the church even now. 

Sometimes, the Christian life isn't so easy. It's difficult. There are trials and things we don't expect, as the Bible promises us. We are persecuted, we are torn down, we have been beaten emotionally and physically. We wonder what is God doing by allowing this to happen to his Beloved. Sometimes, it's even tempting to give up. But be thankful for the examples we have of those who are faithful to the preaching of God's Word, who are faithful to stay close to the course God has called them on. Be thankful for the saints in my current church who could have given up, but stayed with it and have seen how good God is. Be thankful for the examples we have in the Bible through the ministry of the apostles and their perseverance. God is good to remind us not to give up. Come on...don't give up. He's here. Take a look at Christ! He was the ultimate perseverer. What would have happened if he said, "no, that's it. This is too hard! I'm leaving." Well, we would have no hope. We would all be lost in our sin. Thank God, we do have a hope through the enduring love of Christ. 

♥ 

John 17:24

I haven't updated this in a while. Sorry 'bout that. The two classes that I'm in are winding down which  means the tests are harder and there's more to study and more to read and I have two papers due in the next two weeks. Bare with me, I'm almost done! One more class!!!!!!

(sidenote: I had a dream last week that I was at graduation and I was a complete wreck and forgetting everything, but I made it...but I also remember thinking that I shouldn't be there because I still had more school to do...oh goodness)  

This morning's message was on John 17:6-19. It is the chapter of Jesus' prayer for the saints before he goes to the cross. It's an intimate time with his Father and we are blessed to be reading that conversation. 

Well, ashamedly, I fell asleep in the service this morning, so I'm not gonna give you a recap. (I'm sorry) That's the last time I go to bed at mid-night on a Saturday. Plus, I was sitting in the way back, like the second row in, and that usually makes me fall asleep. I need to be up close so I can pay attention more. Oi. 

But I will be listening to it on podcast though! But tonight, I decided to go over that passage for my devotions. And can I just say, what a sweet and wonderful and much needed time with the Lord it was. Let me just encourage you too...before you go into God's Word, stop and pray and ask for his help in understanding the Scriptures. It's truly a gift from the Lord to have the Spirit guiding you and instructing you as you walk with him in the Word. This was an encouragement from my accountability/discipleship partner. 

So anyway, as I was reading, I came down to verse 24 and there were many things that struck me so I decided to camp out there for a bit and disect that verse and do it inductively. 

Here's the verse:

"Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world."

So what I did was, I went through the verse and I circled all the personal references such as "I" "me"...all the references that Jesus is talking about himself. Then I went through and boxed all the references where he refers to "they". Then I underlined the references concerning God, the Father like "you" and "father". 

So here, we see that Jesus is talking to his Father. He then goes on to state his desire. What's his desire for? His desire is for those to be with him. Well, what does desire mean? I immediately thought of Paul's references when he writes to the many churches and how he says that his desire to to be with them. So, who does Jesus want with him? Answer: whom you have given me. This indicates that the "whom you have given me" are those who have been called upon to receive the gift of repentance and faith in Christ...so the Christians, the believers, the saints, God's children. You (if you are indeed a believer) and me. Really? Me? He wants me, the chief of sinners with him? This was his desire? I mean, Christ could have come up with a better desire than that, but this was it. 

Next we find out where he is going. Well, this his prayer right before he went to the cross. Could he be talking about going with him to the Cross? No, because our blood wouldn't be enough to pay for sins, but he is talking about where he is going after the Cross. His ascension into heaven. He wants us with him there! Heaven isn't heaven with out Jesus. There would be no sense to it. But that's not all folks. Not only does he want us there, but he wants us to see his glory! As Matthew Henry notes, this is the glory at which the angels would cover their faces. This is the glory that Moses couldn't see because it would have killed him at the mountain. We do notice that God was the one who gave Jesus the glory and we also see the reason... because he loved him. This seemed to be a sort of privilege to be had. But notice too, God loved him before the foundation of the world. This is was struck me the most... God loved Christ before the foundation of the world. Wasn't Christ with him before the foundation of the world? I thought it was interesting that it didn't say that God loved US before the foundation of the world. But God loved Christ before the foundation of the world. This clearly shows the intimacy the Father and Son had before the foundation of the world. 

Does this make sense?

♥ 

love dad.

Lately my dad has been texting me verses to read each day. He just got a new phone and has figured out how to use texting and also realized that it's free from Verizon to Verizon....so needless to say, I get a lot more texts now. But I'm ok with that. After he gives me the scripture reference to look up he ends his text with "love dad."
Today's passage that he wanted me to read was Psalm 103. I felt that I should encourage those who may be reading this blog with it too.

Bless the Lord

O my soul

and all that is within me, bless his holy name

Bless the Lord

O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits

who forgives all your iniquity

who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit,

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy

who satisfies you with good,

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's

The Lord works righteousness

and justice for all who are oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses

his acts to the people of Israel

The Lord is merciful and gracious,

slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

He will not always chide,

nor will he keep his anger forever.

He does not deal with us according to our sins,

nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

As a father shows compassion to his children,

so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

For he knows our frame;

he remembers that we are dust

As for man, his days are like grass;

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,

and its place knows it no more.

But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,

and his righteousness to children's children,

to those who keep his covenant

and remember to do his commandments.

The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,

and his kingdom rules over all.

Bless the Lord

O you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his word,

obeying the voice of his word!

Bless the Lord, all his hosts,

his ministers, who do his will!

Bless the Lord

all his works,

in all places of his dominion.

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

♥

Acts 20:24

"But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God."

- Paul

Socrates, on Life

The following is from my discussion board for my class, Philosophy. We had to talk about Socrates quote, "The unexamined life is not worth living." We were asked "what does it mean to me?" and "is it true?" Here were my thoughts:

1. What does this mean to me? To me, I'd have to take the position of looking at other people's lives and not just taking the position of evaluating whether or not my life is being examined by people. We all know at least one person in this world, so therefore, your life could never be unexamined. We all have friends we all know people, those people are involved in our lives in one way or another, so therefore, our life is being examined. But also, are we examining other's lives? As Christian, we are called to bear each other burdens (Galatians 6). Bearing each other's burdens includes examining each others lives. "Iron sharpens iron".
2. Is it true? In the first question, I tackled the first part of the quote: "the unexamined life." For this question, I will be tackling the second part: "is not worth living". I have to say a hearty, No, this is not true. We are created in the image of God. God gave us life. Therefore, our lives are worth living. If you watched the powerpoint presentations, you would have known the the artist, Monet, killed himself after doing a brilliant painting of a wheat field and birds flying around. He apparently agreed with Socrates on this, because he killed himself. Monet thought that life was of no value especially when it's not being examined. Well, i'd have to say to Monet that if you examine someone else's life, your life will be examined too.

In the Raw

This morning, as I opened up my internet browser, on my homepage on MSN.com, there was an ad about beauty and the Dove campaign. I love the Dove campaign for real beauty. It's about time, something in the media puts modest, imperfect women on the screen. Well, there was a blog that I read about loving women and seeing them for who they really are in their Raw Beauty. It's a great blog, and I totally agree with everything she said in there. She commented that it's refreshing to see someone who is a mess. Who's hair isn't perfect that day and their clothes are a bit wrinkled. But she mostly comments on the raw beauty of being yourself. I'd like to add on to Ms. Nadeau's comments. Here it is again, I've quoted it many times, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord she shall be praised." You can be the most beautiful woman God ever made, but if you don't have a character to match your beauty, then your beauty is worthless.

I thought of our state with God when I read this. God doesn't care about what we put on that day or how our hair looks or even if our teeth are brushed. He sees us for who we are. He sees us in the raw. He saw our sinfulness. But he still wanted to give us grace. He saw the state we were in before we repented and turned to him for forgiveness. But he still loved us enough to send Jesus Christ to pay our debt in full so we may be completley loved by God the Father. We are in the raw before him. Isaiah 6 comes to mind when I think of God seeing our raw state. Isaiah saw the Lord sitting on his throne, and as he nears him, he drops to his knees and says, "Woe is me! For I am a man of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts." Isaiah recognizes that he is completely undone before a Holy God. Because of his humility and remorsefulness, God declares his guilt is taken away and sin is atoned for (vs. 7). This is a beautiful picture of how God loves us in the raw.

♥

Do You Have Change For A...

I have been sitting on this thought for weeks now, and I think it's time to let it loose.

CHANGE. We see it all around. We see it coming. We see it everyday. Everywhere you look there is change. Computers are daily coming out with the latest technologies, especially the Apple community. This being said, it is a sad sad thing to a MAC user because our computers are constantly being upgraded and so is the price. (here's a quick little plug: MACS ROCK!!!). Camera's are even being upgraded by the minute. I went to a camera store a few weeks ago to see if I could sell my camera, which is not even a year old yet, so I could hopefully buy another brand. Come to find out, they would only buy it for a little over $100!! (I bought it for $500) and to buy another camera would cost about $800. Yickes! Having camera equipment is like buying a car.

Even in our own lives, we want change. I need to change my clothes. I need to change my diet. I need to change my baby's diaper (again). I need to change my hair style. I need to change my oil. I need change for a $100 when I just need a dollar for the candy machine at work. I need my marriage changed. I need my relationship status changed. (by the way, I'm not saying all of these because they deal specifically with me. I don't have a baby or even $100 bill...I'm speaking in general) I need my sheets changed. I need my name changed because I am now in the protective service community. All of these changes are not bad at all. I think it depends on where your heart and motives might be in them, especially in the marriage one, but change is a good thing. Change comes in many forms and can often be major blessings from the Lord.

Well, as you may know (or not know if you are completely ignorant of any kind of news lately) President-elect Obama is being sworn in on Tuesday, January 20. Living in DC, I am seeing it everywhere...from getting letters in work emails and snail mail about the parking system this weekend to seeing the Capitol stage being built, it's everywhere. Obamanation is on it's way and for a crazy weekend in the District of Columbia. It's exciting, that's for sure! But one major slogan has been piggy-backing with Mr. Obama and that is CHANGE. "Change Can Happen". "It's Time For Change." "A Change We Can Believe In". It's everywhere. I even see it in advertising ads like Pepsi and Ikea. I walked past a Pepsi advertisement ad this morning with their newly designed Pepsi symbol looking like the Obama symbol with a website underneath that says, Refresheverything.com. Then walking in and out of the metro has become quite entertaining as we are constantly being bombared with new Ikea posters leading from the moment we step out of the turn style all the way up to the metro escalators with the bright yellow and blue signs that say something about change. Every other sign will be "Time for a Change", "Change can Happen", "Need a Change?" with pictures of new couches, the latest book stalls, and cute little lamps. The signs are also accompanied by the kind of stars you would see on a patriotic symbol like the American flag or something you might see in the Oval office. Just yesterday, I walked into Union Station and there was a huge crowd surrounding a white circular room. As I turned the corner, I saw two guys standing there in black suits and sunglasses. Then it dawned on me. They were pretending to be secret service men and they were standing in what looked like and Ikea-made Oval office. People were sitting in the Ikea-made president's chair and desk taking pictures. It was a cute scene.

Being apart of this history in the making is really great! One day, I can say to my kids or grandchildren that I lived a few blocks away from that moment in history. I'm not the most political savy person...at all. I mean, ashamedly, I couldn't tell you the difference between the Congress and the Senate and what their functions are. Yes, I did take government in highschool, but political science was never something I enjoyed reading about. Taking about politics doesn't necessarily get my britches in a twist. I have been bitten by a tiny political bug though. I now have a TV in my office and MSNBC is on constantly. So I do know a little bit about what's going on in the world.

President-elect Obama has come in full force representing a new Hope or a new Change for all. But what kind of change and hope are we looking for? Is there some kind of universal change that is going to make everything better for everyone? What kind of change are people looking for? Do they want the abortion law to be different? Do they want our troops pulled out of the war? Do they want the economy better (as we ALL do)? Do we want more freedom of religion or do we want to abolition the church all together? Is it that more states need to legalize same sex marriages? What about those women and not only women, but 10 month old babies being raped in the Congo? Can we send more troops there? What about all the trafficing that's going on? How can we change that? This world is fallen. We need a savior! Obama is definitely not a savior, and he never claimed to be. But if only this country would look to the true savior. If only they would look to where our forefather's looked, to the sovereignty of God. They knew his faithfulness endured forever. They knew that the real change would be in the heart's of people. There are definitely major things that need to be changed in our country. But is Obama the only hope we have? Absolutely not! What happens when all these things change? What happens when Obama is going to fail his most faithful followers? He's human, he will fail. I wonder what our forefathers would have said about all this change that people want? Well, I think we can see it written all over the walls in the Lincoln and Jefferson memorial. The big theme in those writings are based upon the sovereignty of God.

Change in this country will happen. But any time, I see a new sign talking about change, my mind is drawn back to the sovereignty of God. He doesn't change. He is faithful and won't let us down. There's something we can hope in and put our trust in. Seeing those signs also makes me think about the change that we do need. We are a fallen nation. Sinful. Evil. We desperately need a change, but change in economic status or legalizing abortion isn't going to help. We need a change of hearts. David's cry in the Psalms is one that we all need. "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Restore unto me the joy of my salvation." We need a heart change here, people. Change is talked about all over the Bible. Paul writes about it in Colossians 3:5-14 when he talks about putting to death what ever is earthly in you and then putting on Christ's character which is love, compassion, patience. This the kind of change we need to have.

With that being said, President Obama, I look forward to what you are going to do in this country. I may not agree with everything you do, but no one's perfect and this country doesn't run on my opinions, though they may be very few. It's exciting to be witnessing history. But thankfully, for you and for me, I don't depend on you for my hope. God is my King. He is my Sovereign Lord. He is the one who gives and has given hope and change to a dieing sinful wretch like me. I sing a long with the Psalmist David as he declares God's faithfulness that reaches to the skies. I sing praises to him for his steadfast love and faithfulness for I know, he will never let me down.

♥