South Africa?

South Africa? 

Hmm...maybe...possibly? Really? Could I really go? 

I emailed Paul (the guy who I met at Together for the Gospel  who also knows my pastor) and he emailed me back today and said that they were actually in the process of praying about the upcoming interns they want to hire. They are looking for 2 females and 1 male to work in a University with students. I would LOVE to do that! I mean, that would be so wonderful. I'm not sure how long I would go for...maybe only a few months, 6 at the most, but what an opportunity to go to South Africa and tell people about Jesus! I think it'll be good for me to get out of the materielistic world we live in and into a world where they are so thankful for the Word being preached and the constant overflow of joy that comes from hearing it. I remember when I went to Haiti in 04 and the church services "started" at 6, but we got there 2 hours later and they were STILL singing and then another 2 hours later we finally got to the message. This is the website for the mission board I would work with African Enterprise Leadership Training. 

Who knows? It's something that I'm willing to look into to see if the Lord is really leading me there for a time. 

So what would be stopping me? Why not go now? I don't have a job that is keeping me here. I am finishing school soon (3 more classes in the winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  <----the number of exclamation marks indicates how excited I am to be DONE with school! I'd use more, the time and patience permits me), and I am single and have no attachments (well besides my friends who I LOVE to pieces....really, guys, I do love you.) So what would stop me if I was really called there and the door opened wide and everything worked out great for me to go? My fear. What would I be scared of though? Well, the first day. The first day of anything new is always the worst. It's the day you are meeting new people, settling into a new place, getting to know a new area. But after the first day, it starts to settle in and you become acquainted with the culture, and you already know the people (because hopefully, you've met them on the first day). I remember I was OOBER scared to go to Haiti. It was my first missions trip and all I've heard about Haiti was that it was completely unsafe and there were wars and their religion was Voodoo. But when the camp staff were going through our orientation the lady who is in charge of the Haiti missions encouraged me through a challenge which I will never forget. She said, "Don't let fear stop you." So I took that to heart, and I went and fell in love. I loved it all. I loved the kids in the orphanage. I loved the country side .... OH MY goodness it was beautiful! I loved even the city though it was piled high with trash. The kids had nothing. The people ate mud. If I can do Haiti, I can do South Africa. 

Though to be honest (oh crap...I'm about to get real vulnerable right now...brace yourself...and here it goes) I'm struggling with my desire to be married and have a family. So I have two desire that are quite big in my mind and heart right now. One, I want to go to South Africa to work on a short term missions team in this University. Two, I want to fulfill my womanly role and have a family and support a hubby and rear (HA! I used the word rear) children. I had a great experience the other day when I was babysitting with discipline and doing it in a gracious way and being able to speak the Gospel to them. (Man, God was kind to allow me to do that and practice it...I was blown away and was excited about it). But I walked away from that and though, yeah, I could do that with my kids! I want to share with them the Gospel and I want to show my own (unborn/future) children of Christ's love.  So I'm scared that if I go to South Africa I will miss out on something else that I am desiring. But I am constantly reminded that GOD IS BIGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   (<----again with the exclamation points) He is bigger than my small plans. He is bigger than anything I can ever dream of. He's just huge, ok? Just deal with it. :O)  Ephesians 3:20 says so, 

Now to him who is able to do far 

more abundantly than all 

that we ask or think,

according to the power at work within us. 

So my thoughts are, God is obviously not providing for desire number two. He has provided for desire number one; I am available. 

So anyway, these are all my thoughts on South Africa. Who knows if it's going to happen. I'm simply processing my thoughts and praying about it and willing to go if the Lord opens the door. 

♥