Don't Know How To Title This One...

Wow. Can I just tell you what an amazing week it has been? Well, it started off kinda rough, but towards the end, maybe around tuesday (ok, that's not really the end, but it was around there) that the Lord just really started teaching me a ton. Where do I start?

(Kristy, this may be a long one...and I may or may not put in potty breaks for you...)

Ok, let's start with my attitude. Always a good place to start, right mom's? I thought so. I have been having a bad attitude lately and because of this, I have felt kind of far from the Lord. Sin can do that to ya...you know, distant you from the Lord. Sunday was so refreshing being at church, as it always is. Shout out to Mark Dever for an awesome sermon on Sunday! He's still in Genesis and just to give you the short of it, was talking about how God is sovereign despite our sin. He still pursues us despite our sin. He still chooses to love me despite my horrid attitude (haha, yes, I used the word horrid). Nuts! I don't have my church notebook here to give you the full explanation of the sermon, but the keys words that I got out of it was to live in Grace. Mark didn't say that exactly, but that's what the Lord was working on in my heart during the sermon. Live in grace, Jenny! What does this mean? Well, lately, I think I have been living in the attitude of fear. Not a holy fear, a fear of reverance, but actual fear. I've been scared of my own life. I know, this sounds absolutely ridiculous. It is! It's sin! I haven't been living in the light of Grace, that fact that I have been forgiven and am redeemed. I see the sin that I commit and get upset about it and think that I must be the worst person ever. But I haven't been preaching the Gospel to myself. I have been complaining about my state whether that be my math class or any other trials. I have been complaining about it which is sin. So this week, the Lord has shown me what it means to live in Grace. And I think it's simply just...having a joy in the Lord. Being anxious for nothing...seeking first his kingdom....preaching the Gospel to myself and others...

A friend of mine came to me to ask prayer and I gave them this quote from Valley of Vision:

"Help me not only to receive him but to walk in him

depend on him

commune with him

be conformed to him

follow him

imperfect, but still pressing forward

not complaining of labour, but valuing rest

not murmuring under trials, but thankful for my state."

I was really convicted of my sinfulness when I was working out and doing sit ups. I think a lot when I work out and I was thinking about my relationship with the Lord. I have felt like something has changed drastically with it and I didn't like it and I wanted it to end. I wanted my relationship with the Lord to be back to where it was, where I was in love and excited to be in the Word. I was lying on my back and right in the gym just asked the Lord to restore my relationship with Him. He's so gracious! Then I came home and it was then that I gave my friend that quote and it really hit me. I've been complaining!!! Jenny, you are a complainer! You have not shown trust in the Lord during your trust. Complaining shows a lack of trust. The last line just really hit me. "not murmuring under trials, but thankful for my state." So I decided to thank the Lord for my state. My state of not knowing if I'll pass my math class, my state of uncertainty of future plans, my state of hating things about my body, etc... the list goes on, people. The next day, it was a drastic change! I saw joy come back into my life! I was more appreciative of the Gospel! I was excited about my "state's". I've noticed even my sense of humor come back. It's freeing, really.

This week, I am house/dogsitting for my boss. Last night, my friend Leslie slept over. On the car ride there we just got to talking about the Lord and through telling her again what the Lord has been teaching me, the Lord just kept bringing up more verses that went along with what he is teaching me. "Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything by prayer and supplicationa and with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God and the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." (Woo!! I just totally typed that out by memorization!!)

I've been so anxious about many things lately. But what does God tell us here? Don't be anxious about it! BUT pray about it....but not just that though...he adds (this is the key ingredient) and with THANKSGIVING. Thank the Lord for the state he has you in right now. Praise his name for it! This is where you will best glorify him. Then the verse that says the Joy of the Lord is your strength was brought to mind and from the key ingredient of thanksgiving in your prayer come forth the JOY of the Lord. YAY! Joyfulness!! Who doesn't want that? From that then comes Grace...living in grace. Enjoying God. There's kinda weird math formula going on here...

Let's see if I can make one come out that will make sense:

anxiousness + complaining = sin/bad attitude

Divided by thankfulness in prayer (peace of mind x joy of the Lord x living in Grace squared)

all over a Gospel Centered Life = more love for Jesus square root of nearer to the cross

hahaha... i've been thinking of math too much. That probably didn't make any sense at all.

Then today!!! Oh my goodness...

I'm gonna keep this kinda short cause I'm wicked tired right now.

There was a girl last summer in the intern bible study who I had a really great Gospel conversation with one night at Ben and Jerry's. She was so curious to hear about the Bible and Jesus. She kept coming back to the bible study and asking really great questions. Well, I hadn't heard from her in a while because when the interns leave, you just never really get to say goodbye. So I gchated with her this morning and she was so excited to tell me that she had gotten saved this summer!!!! I knew it. I remember one night after the bible study we were talking and something inside just clicked and I could see it. But it was really neat to her back from her 5 months later that the Lord is teaching her so much! She's so excited about reading the Word and so in love with our Gracious Father. I can't tell you what a blessing it was to be a part of that. It was especially neat to see how God, he did it all. He's the one that told her to come to our church. He's the one that put it on her heart to buy a bible. He's the one who called her to himself. Wow. What an amazing privilege to be a part of that process. Truly amazing.

So all that to say, living in grace = thankfulness of your state, no matter where or what that is and then watching the Lord's work in your heart and life and in others.

Simply amazing.

♥